On 6th November 2009, I went out into the townships with and FSS fieldworker named Lingeka to visit some of our foster homes, child-headed households and elder-headed households. Her friend Buti from Khayelitsha served as our driver for the outing. This day was so special to me because I was welcomed so warmly into these people’s homes and met their families…it felt more intimate than my other experiences in the townships.

The first house we visited was in Guguletu. The foster mama and her adult daughter Linda care for 8 children. Linda was home, overseeing lunchtime when we stopped by. My first impression of the kids was that they were shockingly well-behaved. I have dealt with groups of young children before and they never seemed so content and calm. Each child was sitting on the floor with their own plates and spoons, quietly eating their lunch of rice, chicken, potatoes and gravy. I jumped on the opportunity to speak with Linda about all of the children her and her mother care for.

Lunch Time.

I was really impressed with how knowledgeable Linda was on each of the childrens’ stories. She could tell me right off the top of her head how old each child is, what month they arrived at their home and all of their special needs and circumstances. She told me the names of all of the gorgeous children, except for one.

One young girl who has been living with them since March does not speak at all. Although she is physically healthy, comfortable with the other children and well-behaved, she has yet to speak. Linda tells me very matter of factly that she worries that the child was literally locked up somewhere before she came to her mother’s home. When the child first came to the house, she came without any documents or information and nobody even knew her real name, of course she has been given a nickname in Linda’s home however. Linda and her mother worry about this child all the time and are monitoring her progress closely. Linda says that “what she needs is love and friends”…and I must say that I agree.

The children finished their lunch and perhaps the most shocking thing happened: They all stood up and brought their forks and plates to the kitchen and dropped them in the sink without having to be told! I was literally clapping my hands for them…but they were more interested in play-time.

I asked Linda why she and her mother decided to take these children in. Linda says, “it is hard to explain, it comes from my mother’s heart…she could not just sit and watch children suffer”. Linda and her mother have been receiving food parcels and financial support from Ikamva Labantu since 2003. Linda’s mother is also an active member of the Siyakhatala Carers forum.

I was so warmly welcomed by Linda into her home and got a chance to sit with the children on the floor and play around with them…certainly the most fun part of my day.

A little play-time

The kids pulled me into the other room to show me their sleeping foster brother. I couldn’t believe it! He sleeps the same way I used to sleep as a child. Linda laughed and said, you cant ever try to straighten him out, this is the only way he likes to sleep!

Nap Time! Too cute not to share...

I can only describe this group of orphans and vulnerable children as one thing: a family. And a beautiful family at that.

Next, we visited a child-headed household. Community Based Worker Pamela joined us for the second half of our day. We walked into a small home with minimal lighting and were met by three strapping young men. Lukhanyo is 22 years old, the same age as me, and is taking care of his 17 and 19 year old brothers as well as his 5 year old twin brother and sister since their mother passed away in May. The twins were still at school when we visited, but I got a chance to sit and talk with the 3 boys for quite some time.

The three boys, myself and Community Based Worker Pamela

I really must say that you could not find 3 more polite, open and respectable young men anywhere.

Lukhanyo is the head of the household. At 22, he completed high school up to grade 11 but failed grade 12. He enrolled in a homecare nursing programme and completed the course with great marks and an even greater recommendation from his advisor. He is currently looking for a job. In fact, Pamela was following up with him on his progress in finding a job, she then told him in Xhosa to go fetch his CV and show it to me. Lukhanyo had all of his papers in order, but I offered to re-do his CV with updated information and in a flashy new format to help him stand out from other job applicants. He was extremely grateful.

I asked the boys what their hopes are for their younger siblings. All the boys want is for the twins to attend university. I mentioned, in as non-condescending a manner as possible, that the best chance for the twins to go to university is if they see their big brothers do it first. The boys agree, and I for one have all the faith in the world in them. Lukhanyo, as I mentioned wants to be a home-based carer for the ill and bedridden. The 19 year old wants to be a mechanical engineer, and the 17 year old wants to pursue a career in law.

I asked what their biggest struggle is as a family since they lost their mother. The boys all told me that the hardest thing is answering their younger siblings’ questions about their mother. I really need to pause and think what life must be like for these boys. Young, handsome boys, all with their own dreams and aspirations, have suddenly become the sole breadwinners for a household and the sole carers for two young children. The additional responsibility is one thing, but all of this comes while they are individually trying to recover from the lost of their beloved mother. I look at them as strength personified.

I am so, so grateful that the two young twins have these boys to look up to. Who knows what would happen to the twins if their brothers were not willing or able to take on this responsibility. These boys and this family are the exact people that we, as a larger community must invest in. I am proud to say that Ikamva Labantu already is.

Finally, we went to an elder-headed household to meet just about the strongest woman you could imagine in Phillipi East. Mrs. Donni is a mother, grandmother and a widow taking care of 6 children on her own. Ikamva Labantu provided home-based care services to Mrs. Donni’s late husband from 2001 until he passed in 2003. Since then, Ikamva Labantu helped her older son find a job and has continued to provide food parcels and financial assistance. Mrs. Donni welcomed us into her home with open arms. She immediately took out piles of pictures of her late husband and her whole family and shared them with me.

Mrs. Donni and her beautiful grandchildren plus Community Based Worker Pamela

When I asked her what she wanted for her children and grandchildren, she answered with one word: success. When I asked what her biggest day-to-day struggle was, she answered with one word again: food. She is also struggling with accessing proper social grants for her grandchildren. She deals with these struggles like a champ. You can easily tell how much the children love her and how much she loves them.

I had such a wonderful day. The most powerful question I can leave you with is this: What do you think these children’s lives would be like if there were no foster parents like Linda and her mother, no siblings willing to take care of their brothers and sisters like Lukhanyo or grandmothers willing to take care of their grandchildren like Mrs. Donni? What would come of them?

I certainly do not even want to begin to consider the possible answers to questions like these, but at least, with the help of Ikamva Labantu, these children and their carers will be supported and empowered.